Lupus: On the Trail
by Dinosaur2
Summary: Lupus, bored and not wishing to play poker with Vela, decides to play some of the games on the main computer...he is soon forced to endure a game of The Yukon Trail. Read, enjoy, review.


*disclaimer: I don't own Lupus or (thank goodness) the Yukon Trail. Read, enjoy, review*   
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Lupus got very bored on the spaceship one day, so he decided to mess with the games on the main computer. He discovered a game he had never seen before: The Yukon Trail. Overly curious, he carefully manuvered the wheels on his body so he could click on it.   
What resulted was a picture of an ugly old man holding a piece of gold. He claimed, "This here's the Yukon Trail, another exciting product from MECC"  
  
Lupus: Right...but I'm sure it's not as exciting as blowing up a couple of tribals.  
  
The strange man continued with a story of a gold strike in the Yukon territory of Alaska, and how Lupus had to hurry to get a claim and strike it rich. Amazingly, Lupus decided to play. The following is his strange journal on the trail...  
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This journal is the property of Lupus (though who would steal it?)  
  
  
August 23, 1897. Arrived at Seattle, without my armor and guns. Drat it. There were no Tri-Rocket Launchers in the 1 890s. This game is wierd, but it's better than playing poker with Juno and Vela. Well, anyways, I have:  
0 pounds of food  
$350 in cash  
That doesn't look good. Well, might as well look around this dump...   
August 24, 1897. Seattle.   
Hmm, this is almost as screwed up as those stupid Manly Brothers. Anyways, why on Golwood are the two richest people in Seattle doing just sitting out in the middle of the street...?  
Ethel Berry advised: "The most important thing is to find yourself a good partner." Heh. I guess she didn't see all the idiots in the ticket station. I was forced to team up with a native of Alaska who said I could call her Linda. Her knowledge of the area and packing experience should be very helpfu, though she's very annoying. The only good thing I can say is that she added $500 to our partnership.  
Clarence Berry advised: "Plan on hauling in an outfit that will last at least a year." Mr. Berry also warned: "Expect to be disappointed."   
Bought some caviar from a moron at the docks for $10. He was trying to sell a bicycle...apparently they can't tell I'm a dog...at least no one's called me Looopus yet...  
Climbed aboard the Alliance. The sooner this is over, the better.   
September 3, 1897. Aboard the Alliance. Our ship hit some rocks. Luckily, we suffered no damage. Our captain is a doofus.  
September 9, 1897. Aboard the Alliance. Our ship hit an iceberg. Luckily, there was no damage to the ship. I, however, bumped my head. Gravity. I hate it.  
September 12, 1897. Arrived at Dyea, and imeadiately ran into that idiot from the intro. Turns out that the guy's name was Gold Dust Charley.  
Gold Dust Charley said: "Get to Dawson as fast as you can and try to stake a claim near where other miners have had success." He found his gold on Bonanza Creek. Get there as fast as you can. Heh.  
A packer advised: "Hire a packer." Gee, I wonder why...  
September 13, 1897. Started hiking the Chilkoot Trail.   
Just got to survive this until the end...then I'll warn the Jet Force never to play this game.  
September 16, 1897. The Chilkoot Trail. A horse fell down and blocked the trail. We were delayed.   
I'd shoot the horse, except A) I have no guns and B) It's already dead, stupid.   
September 27, 1897. The Chilkoot Trail. There was a rock slide on the trail. To my great dismay, we were delayed. I really wish I had that Tri-Rocket Launcher...  
October 1, 1897. The Chilkoot Trail. Lost 306 pounds of food to theft. Now I really wish I had that Tri-Rocket Laucher!  
October 7, 1897. The Chilkoot Trail. My partner fell down and was injured. Wuss!  
Arrived at Sheep Camp. Why is it called Sheep Camp when there's no sheep and it's not a camp?   
October 9, 1897. The Chilkoot Trail. Lost 488 pounds of food to theft. Can I please find some way to bring a Tri-Rocket Laucher on this game?  
October 26, 1897. Arrived at Canadian Customs. That Canadian guy just scares me. Perhaps he was a tribal in disguise?  
November 4, 1897. The Chilkoot Trail. Lost 114 pounds of food to theft. At this point I just think it's Linda gorging herself...  
November 28, 1897. Arrived at Lake Bennett. There was a lady who did absolutely nothing but sit there and pet a St. Bernard on the head...I can't wait until this is over.  
May 29, 1898. First trip on our boat. Heh, after manuvering a starship, this was a piece of cake. The faster this boat gets us to Dawson, the better.  
June 27, 1898. Arrived at Dawson City. Hurray, Hurrah! Got some advise from a personal hero of mine, Jack London. This game makes him look pretty bad.... Anyways, Jack London said: "There are riches all around you. Not all of them glitter like gold. Live life to the fullest, and you will die a millionaire." Of course, getting all kinds of endorsements doesn't hurt.  
November 2, 1898. Dawson City. We got enough gold to get out of this really stupid game. Hurray! Hurrah! Now where is my Tri-Rocket Launcher...  
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Jet Force soon made a requirement to get all copies of The Yukon Trail off of their computers. It was so annoying, they decided to give it to Mizar and his minions...  
  
Mizar: *Staring at the beginning of The Yukon Trail* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 


End file.
